If you don't feel like masturbating right now because there's a global pandemic that's ok, but if you do…
Inspired by insight from Polly Rodriguez, Co-founder & CEO of Unbound Babes and Career, Pleasure and Spirituality coach Juliet Lippman, this is a guide to help you feel comfortable to masturbate and amplify your self-pleasure.
1. Set the Scene
“Set aside that time where you give yourself thirty minutes - whether it’s meditation, masturbation or both - to just touch yourself and reconnect with your body” - Polly Rodriguez, Co-Founder & CEO of Unbound Babes
(Annabelle Sacher, Photo Credit: Paige Wood Photography)
Start by carving out time and space that’s just for you to explore your pleasure.
We live in a world with so many distractions - our phones, computers, televisions - and so much negative content taking up our head space. Just setting aside an extended period of time whether it’s thirty minutes - as Polly recommends - more or less to focus on yourself can calm your mind and body, enabling you to relax into a place where you can experience greater pleasure.
Make sure to leave your phone in another room or if you can’t, turn it off to minimise distraction.
The less outside noise, the more you will be able to focus on your body and the sensations that make you feel good.
Listen to your body
“Learn what your body likes” - Juliet Lippman, Career x Spirituality x Pleasure Coach
Our bodies vary so widely, especially for women, the nerve endings in our vulvas are diversely spread and unique to each and every one of us.
Yet, we are constantly exposed to a very uniform depiction of sexual pleasure and masturbation whether through porn or mainstream media that doesn’t take into account how different our bodies or what feels good 0n an individual level.
We can’t possibly all fit into the same mold in terms of the sensations and stimuli that create sexual pleasure for us, so it’s important to take a moment to listen to your body and ask yourself…
What feels good to me?
What do I like to explore?
Where do I feel release?
These questions are the solid foundation that will help you to reconnect with your body and understand how to experience your full pleasure.
2. Sex Toys
“The gateway drug to sexual empowerment through self-pleasure and orgasming is vibrators” - Juliet Lippman, Career x Spirituality x Pleasure Coach
“I also - and I’m not just saying this because I make them - do think vibrators are wonderful!” - Polly Rodriguez, Co-Founder & CEO of Unbound Babes
(Bender Vibrator, Photo Credit: Unbound Babes)
You may find fulfilment through fingering, but vibrators are another wonderful way for you to experience a quick and nourishing orgasm that makes you feel good.
There are so many beautiful products out there designed with care and love to help you achieve more pleasure than you could ever imagine. And, there is no need to worry about setting foot in a sex shop as so many of these can be bought online.
These are a few of my favourites, but take the time to research and explore what you like best:
Bender by Unbound Babes
One of the best things about Bender is that it’s highly flexible, which means you can easily explore clitoral, vulva or g-spot stimulation together in combination or one at a time to discover what makes you feel good! Apart from that it’s also gorgeously designed and comes in one of two delicious pastel colours - mint and quartz - as well as being waterproof, quiet and made of medical grade silicon.
Rocks Off by Love Honey
This is a simple but highly effective bullet vibrator that for the pleasure you’ll experience, at £9.99 is an absolute steal! Never assume that you need a sex toy with all the whistles and bells to achieve a satisfying orgasm sometimes the most basic of products can provide the best orgasm. This is a great vibrator, especially if you are interested in exploring the power of a full clitoral orgasm.
Unite by We-Vibe
Part of the fun of this sex toy is that you can use it to explore your pleasure with a partner as well as on your own. The remote control allows you or your partner to take charge of the sensations you experience by upping or changing the type of vibration. It can also be worn during sex to maximise pleasure and your ability to orgasm during penetration. Although it lacks the flexibility of Bender, Unite fits snugly inside and over your vagina to ensure you experience the joy of both internal and external orgasm.
Fin by Dame
If you enjoy fingering yourself but also want to explore the joys of a vibrator, this is the one for you! Worn like a ring on your fingertips or lower down towards the palm, above or below the hand. You can change how you wear this lovely little vibrator to explore the full range of sensations that will help you achieve orgasm.
Mini Halo Wand by Shibari
Shibari are the masters and OGs of wand vibrators, wonderful tools to experience a deeply profound clitoral orgasm. Their more famously known large wands can be quite expensive but their Mini Halo Wand can be picked up on amazon for less than £30! This tried and tested vibrator comes highly recommended and is one of the best-in-class when it comes to exploring and experiencing pure clitoral pleasure.
Whether you are new to vibrators or looking to add to your collection remember that, in the words of Polly Rodriguez, “don’t feel like you need to spend that much money in order to give yourself permission to masturbate”. There are loads of great affordable vibrators out there, including some of the above that will help you to experience the ultimate self-pleasure without breaking the bank.
3. Arousing Content
“There’s so much great stimulating content out there ...which you can incorporate” - Polly Rodriguez, Co-Founder & CEO of Unbound Babes
(Image Credit: Natalia Lvova)
We are complex creatures, each with our own sexually arousing triggers and tastes. Visual and aural stimulation can be as much an important part of creating an environment that enhances your self pleasure as touch.
You may enjoy porn, and that’s wonderful but I personally find all that dead-eyed moaning and flailing limbs a little bit of a dark hole (no pun intended) and less than sexually stimulating.
If, like me, porn isn’t your favourite source of masturbation inspiration there are so many great resources out there from podcasts, art and even apps that can help to spark your sexual desire.
Inspired by Polly and Juliet’s recommendations as well as my own exploration I’ve put together a list of places and platforms to titillate and arouse here.
4. Be Kind to Yourself
“Just be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself. If you don’t feel like masturbating right now...that’s 100% ok but it's also ok to give yourself time to do things that help you reconnect with your body.” - Polly Rodriguez, Co-Founder & CEO of Unbound Babes
(Annabelle Sacher, Photo Credit: Paige Wood Photography)
Self-pleasure can be an incredible and nourishing way to enhance your wellbeing but if you are not in the mood, there is no need to force it. Have patience with yourself and be kind to your body.
Allow sexual arousal and self-pleasure to be something that comes up naturally for you otherwise you won’t feel as good about yourself or truly experience the benefits that come from a relaxed and happy orgasm. Your pleasure, when you experience it and how is within your control and your own choice. Don’t let it become functional, just go with the flow and see when it feels right, when it doesn’t and when it does feel right what is truly pleasurable to you.